Instant Canonization Form

Okay, so you're ready to join the Poochian Order as a fully-fledged Saint. First, we need to know who you really are (so we can settle disputes which arise from time-to-time, send you our Divine Missives From On-High, etc ...), then you need to decide who you are about to become.

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Now for the FUN part! Before we can send you the SACRED BY-WORD (by which Poochian Saints the world-over can recognize one another without fear of being shammed by some 'pretender'!) you must select your SAINTLY NAME!
This can be about anything you wish and you can designate yourself -- excuse me! Yourself , all Saints' Names are Capitalized! -- as the Patron Saint of something, if you wish. We currently have (among Others) a Saint Malmo The Slender, a Saint Bubba, a Pope Leopold The Tardy, and (of course!) St. Pooch, The Patron Saint of Cleavage & Breast Implants (who is generally addressed as 'Your Honorable Fat-Baby Mother Sir!' or , more simply for casual occasions, 'Your Ass-Holiness'). Feel free to demand underlings and mortals address you by either of these epithets, or as Saint __________ {whatever}.
Take your time, make-up whatever passes for your mind, and become immortal. You too can be a legend in your own spare time.

There, that's it! You are now a Saint.

If you'd like something more substantial to prove you're a Saint, we offer a perfectly lovely Certificate of Canonization (On parchment! In Tudor font! Suitable for framing! Signed by His Honorable Fat-Baby Mother Sir, St. Pooch Himself!) for the paltry sum of $7.95 U.S., which includes shipping, tax, and the bother of doing the thing up and sending it off. Proceeds go to the St. Malmo Defense Fund ... or a really good party, whichever seems like a good idea at the time. Just go back to the Cathedral and punch the Order Form
Now, press the little button and join us!

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Forms by Flaming Hooker